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My grandpa lived to the age of 87. His passing was unexpected but at least he went peacefully, which a big consolation to us. By the grace of the God of Love, he was neither tormented by illness nor suffered from any grievances.

My grandpa had been healthy all these years. His ripe age of 87 didn’t stop him from speeding all over town visiting his friends. My mum always told me, “Your grandpa drives more furiously than me!” which made me wonder if it was a compliment or a complaint… or did it imply that my mum’s driving skill sucks?

My grandpa had been living leisurely and carefree for many years. His seven sons and two daughters are successful, filial, and obedient. Basically my grandpa has no worries or burdens, living the life of a king, almost. Most fathers would be very happy when presented with a car from their children. On the contrary, my grandpa threw an amazing line “You guys better make sure the petrol is filled everyday, otherwise don’t expect me to drive the car.” Classic!

This is credited to his sons and daughters who have completely spoiled him. I think I would immediately sell off the car if my dad told me the same thing.

My grandpa craved delicious food, and was extraordinarily fussy. He always has his way to find something wrong with the food served, regardless if it was cooked by my mum or it was from the restaurant. Despite being so fussy, his kids were never bored to bring him all over to hunt for food. My grandpa is superb too, he alone was able to forage for nice food and always introduced us to places with the best ever steamed fish or scrumptious char siew.

My grandpa was very optimistic and active, even though his kids were always busy with work; he never complained or blamed his kids for not accompanying him enough. He had his own friends and could always find his own activities to pursue. There was once I saw my grandpa sitting right in front of a staff in my uncle’s company, staring fixedly at the staff while he did his own thing. It looked so funny. I bet the staff must have gotten used to my grandpa’s spontaneous visits every now and then and thus, had no more topics to chat with my grandpa except to allow grandpa to stare at him. Grandpa always has his own program to entertain himself indeed.

My grandpa was also quick-witted and had better memory than me. I’m always confused of my cousins’ age as there are too many of them to remember. Same like most of the old people always like to ask me the same question every time they met me “Are you still in school?” Despite I have answered them 5 year ago “Nope, I’m over age to be still in the school.” and yet they repeated the same question 5 years later. So I thought my grandpa wouldn’t remember my age as well. Surprisingly in the recent years, he asked me occasionally “When’re you going to upgrade your mum?” Initially I stared blankly at him, upgrade to what? Manager? Then only it suddenly dawned on me, upgrade to grandma! Gosh! Not only did he remember I have passed the average age for marriage, he also remembered I have reached the age to be a mother. Paiseh leh…

I have a habit to hunch my back while sitting. There was once when I had a slight backache due to my bad habit, so I sat up straight to reduce the stiffness. Suddenly my grandpa pointed at me and went “You look so much better by sitting up straight!” I was like “wow”, I thought only I would talk this way to my boyfriend.

However, everyday is not Sunday. My grandpa seldom visited hospital but few weeks ago, he was examined to suffer from not only bowel cancer, but final stage of bowel cancer. This had severely affected his excretory system. Doctor suggested to have the operation. Even though the succeed rate was only 60%, but it will prolong the life for 2 years, or else, my grandpa would have only half year to enjoy life.

Being optimistic and tough as usual, my grandpa agreed to have surgery. In order to want my grandpa to enjoy 2 more years of his life, we decided to accept doctor’s suggestion and prayed for the best of the operation.

I can do nothing else than admire my grandpa for being tough and open-minded. He hoped for the best and prepared for the worst in this battle. He even visited all his friends and gave all the particulars of funeral affairs prior to the operation. He then faced the battle calmly and placidly. During the whole treatment, he never complained or showed a single sign of worries and anxiety. I guess he was trying to protect his children from adding to their worries.

Few days prior to the surgery, my grandpa looked as fit as fiddle that it was almost impossible to tell he was sick. Everyone tried to be optimistic and believed that the victory is awaiting us. But when it came to the moment of operation, the initial optimism seemed to be disappeared without trace. Everyone was unable to suppress the feeling of anxiety and worries. The fear of losing beloved father was too obvious that the doctor threw a compelling line “Your father is very tough, his children should be as tough as well.”

It was indeed a sheer torture in the process of waiting. Nothing can be done except to wait, hope and pray silently.

After 2 hours of waiting, the surgery was finally done. My grandpa woke up in the next morning with full of vigour and talked on and on in a flow of eloquence with his sons and daughters. In this very moment, not only his children felt an incredible sense of relief, the doctor was gratified too.

It was a great day after the operation; everyone was enjoying the sunshine after the rain.

Unfortunately, it was always the lull before the storm. The third day after the surgery, the doctor suddenly announced that my grandpa’s situation was very bad and must be sent back to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). After the examination, the doctor estimated that my grandpa could only live for another few days. It was shocking news; after all, my grandpa was too old to afford the losing of the blood during the operation and the persistence of the drug medicine in the body after the operation.

All my grandpa’s family members arrived one after another to accompany him for the final stage of his life.

I guess the God loves my grandpa too much to let him suffer from any disease before leaving to heaven and finally brought him away in 25 May 2009 at 12:35 a.m., the 6th day after the operation.

Unfortunately I wasn’t there when my grandpa was gone; I had left the hospital few hours before. My mum, aunt and uncles were there taking care of him. I asked my mum later how everyone was, my mum said “Your 6th uncle was the most upset one; he blamed himself for bringing your grandpa in to the hospital but was not able to bring him out from the hospital.” My mum wept in grief and continued “Your 6th uncle was completely blank, even the nurses were worried and comforted him.” It made my mum’s heart ache when recalled it. So I just stopped asking.

I felt all sorts of emotion surging within me after hearing my mum. It always turns out to have to suffer deeper pain when ones is willing to shoulder heavy responsibility.

I have many friends w
ho are being pessimistic of their lives. Most of them wanted to live to the age of 60 only as according to them, the longer we live, the more illness we get, and the more tortured life we have to face. How sad.

So if my mum, aunt and uncles can think from an optimistic perspective, their father is considered a lucky one. In the inevitable process of born, sick, old, death, my grandpa had escaped from torment of sickness and stepped into the heaven right away after enjoying life to the age of 87.

May my grandpa rest in peace in the Land of Ultimate Bliss.

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